Ten Nonfunctioning Digits

Pregnancy is a magical time. Did you know that many women find themselves to be more clumsy than usual while pregnant? I know I was clumsier during the punk's gestation, and on Monday, it became apparent that it has happened again this time. It just seems like a cruel joke to me. I think Mother Nature gets a laugh by seeing a big, fat lady with touchy sciatic nerves try to bend over to retrieve the items she drops all day long.

On Monday, I was carrying a bunch of items inside from the garage, including a melted frosty from Wendy's. As I tried to grip both the frosty and the door knob, I shut the door and promptly dropped the frosty, which sent a river of creamy chocolate goodness all over the door mat and tile. (Hey, at least it forced me to finally wash that filthy mat.)

Two minutes later, I was preparing the punk's bottle of milk for nap time. He loves to help me push the buttons and open and close the microwave door. As I was removing the full bottle from the microwave, the impatient punk slammed the door on my arm and sent the bottle flying onto the counter, covering my precious plate of chewy brownies, and leaving the creamy white liquid to drip down the cabinets and dishwasher and onto the floor.

One and a half minutes after that, I was putting groceries away. For no reason at all, I dropped the full container of cottage cheese. The lid popped off and the protective plastic seal blew open, spewing chunks all over the kitchen floor.

Three dairy spills in 5 minutes. That's got to be some kind of record!

How about you? Does your gripping function also stop operating when you are carrying a human life form?