Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I went to a psychic in the Castro District of San Francisco this past weekend. For those of you who aren’t aware, it’s the “gay district” and I love it. I have a gay brother and I asked him to take me there for dinner. I knew if we had dinner there that we would meet new friends (accomplished) , have fabulous food (said in a gay voice) and check out all the cute gay boys (wow, there were a lot of them). While walking down Castro Street we saw a sign for a “psychic reading” and decided we better see what the future holds for us. While my brother had his reading I sat outside on the porch and people watched. Seriously, I don’t know if people watching gets any more entertaining than a Saturday night in the gayest part of the country.
I was feeling pretty good. I felt confident in my new red coat purchased that day at H&M. My confidence was soon shot to hell after spending 20 minutes on a porch with not even a second glance by any of the cute guys walking by. Ok, I realize 99% of them were gay but I hoped for at least a “Giiiiiirl, that coat is fab-u-lous” comment. That comment didn’t come and I felt significantly less fabulous by the minute.
Soon it was my time to visit the psychic. I won’t bore you with what she said, even though it was awesome and I apparently have the world’s best future ahead of me. One thing that shouldn’t surprise any of you that know me is that she said, “Wow, you are very strong minded.” Yep, that’s me. I’m a very passionate liberal. I get angry about social issues, my blood boils on a regular basis. I am vocal about my beliefs and I am sure I offend people on a regular basis. But I can’t deny who I am. One thing I am morally and socially opposed to is … duh duh duh….Wal-Mart. I never shop at Wal-Mart. I don’t care if I will save $2 buying my deodorant at Wal-Mart, I won’t shop there. I hate that it has taken over our country and put countless small businesses out of business! I hate that when you go there you that it takes more than 2 hands to count the amount of people wearing pajamas and slippers. I hate that you have to wait in ridiculously long lines shopping there. Need I go on? I just hate Wal-Mart.
I walked into Wal-Mart. It took me awhile in the vast store to find the lingerie (all while cringing at the clothes that they sell there). I found my Spanx (much cheaper than they were at Target!), mission accomplished! On my way to check out I walked past the ice-cream and thought, “Oh, I should totally eat some Rocky Road while watching a movie tonight.” I grabbed a gallon and went to the check out.
It was then that I realized that the two items I was purchasing were Spanx and ice-cream. The clerk looked at my items, didn’t say anything, but looked back up smiled at me with a look on her face that said, “Oh? You think you are too good to shop at Wal-Mart? Even you liberals can fall prey to our prices!” I knew what she was thinking. I was thinking the same thing. Wow, I just became a trashy Wal-Mart shopper that I despise. But, I saved $12.30 in the process and looked better in that bridesmaid dress than I would have!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Warning: If you are male or embarrassed about boob talk, turn back now. You see, I used to be one of you. Not male, but boob-shy. About 5 years ago, if I heard the word "nipple," my normally pale face would blush and burn, and I would shrink into the nearest corner and giggle nervously while clutching my elbows. My man used to blurt out the word regularly just to make me squirm.