Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Guest Blogger: Domenico Maiuri

The credit union Marketing Department is the place to be on Monday mornings. We have our weekly department meeting, during which we review progress from last week and our projects and schedules for the upcoming week. It has also become customary to report on our weekend happenings. The Marketing Director and I usually have boring stuff to report, like, "I weeded my garden," or "I fell asleep on the couch at 9:15 Saturday night." Fortunately, we have a third member of the marketing team, who happens to be single, and therefore, presents much more entertainment than the boring marrieds. I've asked him to share his Saturday night experience here with you, my friends. Enjoy!

Are you ready for this? Basically, what I’m asking is, do you have a full bladder right now?

This weekend, my two roommates and I decided to go out to the Salomon Center. {Editor’s note: the Salomon Center is a new entertainment hub in Ogden which has a bunch of restaurants, a Fat Cats bowling alley, Gold’s Gym, movie theater, vertical wind tunnel for indoor skydiving, and Flowrider indoor surf pool.} We went to Iggy’s and ordered some desserts, and when we were leaving, Spencer offered to pay for me to do the Flowrider. I figured, why not? If Spencer’s going to pay $30 for me to try this, I'll do it - whatever!

I asked the lady if I could do it in my clothes, but she said no because my jeans might damage the surface. So she said they had a lost & found and I might be able to find something in there. We went in the back and tore through the box, which held a a pair of girl's running shorts and bunch of little kids’ shorts. I tried on a couple of them, but they didn’t make it up past my thigh. It was akward because the lady wouldn't leave me alone with the valuable clothes. Finally at the bottom, we found a big pair of gold, XXL basketball shorts, no drawstring. So I stripped down and changed into these trunks.

There were at least 20 people in there – a bunch of high school kids, and a bunch of people watching at the tables, and people watching in the windows from Costa Vida & the movie theatre next door. Plus, there were TV screens that broadcast the Flowrider action live all through the nearby restaurants, gym, and bowling alley.

The right side of the Flowrider was for surfing, and the left side for boogie boarding. Everyone was over at the surfing side. Since the left side was empty, I went over there.

At first, I was just floating on the surface with the boogie board, which was kind of boring. So the lifeguard yelled, “Do a barrel roll!” So I tried a barrel roll. As I flipped to my back, I felt my shorts shoot down to my ankles. I spread my legs to try to catch them (probably not the best idea), but then they shot off my ankle. So there I was, butt naked with nothing but the boogie board to cover me, but it was no match for the 35 mph current. The board caught an edge in the water and flew away from me and over the wave! So I was flapping around naked in the water, exposing my backside and frontside over and over again, and I could see people laughing and calling their friends over to see.

I weighed so much that the wave wouldn’t push me over the top, so I was struggling at the top of the wave for about 10 long seconds. Finally, I had to force myself to hold still enough that, in slow motion, it pushed me over the top of the wave so I could retrieve my shorts which were pushed up against the wall.

Through his tears, Spencer said the $30 was worth it.

P.S. If you haven't voted for my baby bump yet, please click here and vote for photo #113. Voting ends Friday at noon.


driley said...

you need photos of the actual event--what kind of blogger are you? none of this "smiling-portrait-long-after-the-fact" nonsense. i still can't find it on youtube.

Heather said...

Love the story and glad that it didn't happen to me, but like Spencer, it would have been well worth the $30!

Agent Pepper said...

LO-freaking-L! That is hilarious! I totally saw that coming, but I still laughing super hard when I read the rest of the story.

I'm still laughing...

Tami said...

OH MY GOSH, I am laughing so hard I am crying!!!! Thanks, I needed that. Ü

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