Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Agony and the Ecstasy


... of Lunch at the Mall

What do you do when you want to get out of the office for lunch, but you don't want to visit a drive-thru or sit down at a restaurant? You go to the mall!

On my quest for lunch today, I rode an emotional rollercoaster, as is bound to happen anytime one chooses the mall as her lunchtime venue:

High: The Expectant Mother parking spot, complete with a pink stork sign. Score! I've always resented the row of 17 unused handicap spots that line the entrance of any store or restaurant. It's payback time! I parked, grunted my way out of my car, and let my belly button lead the way into the mall entrance.

Low: Walking by 72 full-length mirrors on my way to the food court. The dress I'm wearing today is just a little on the short side, and shows the ever-widening juicy spot right above my knees. It's not easy to retain my state of denial when the evidence is staring back at me. Oh man, did I just say retain? Oh, the retaining...

High: Finding a coupla gems at Express. I bought 2 very cute shirts for a total of $26 with the help of a sale and a coupon. One shirt sports a zebra print! Who's frumpy now?

Low: Trying to avoid eye contact with the annoying kiosk guy, who was literally waving his arms up and down to get my attention. When I unwittingly glanced in his direction, he asked me to try a new fragrance/calling plan/who cares what he was selling. When I declined, he said, "Okay, can I ask you a question?" Oh no Mister. I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work. My reply, "No thanks, I don't have time." It would have been more convincing if I were walking at my usual brisk pace instead of my thighs-rubbing-together-prego waddle.

High: Experiencing a new cuisine for lunch, thanks to a recommendation from my friend Sarah. I had never even noticed Greek Garden in the food court before, but I enjoyed a tasty gyro for my lunchtime meal.

Low: Being asked to pay $0.55 for a stinkin' refill of my wimpy-sized Fresca! Seriously? I can get a whole new can for $0.50; forget it. It's really too bad though. I consider sipping a fountain drink at my desk after lunch one of life's simple pleasures. Oh well, at least I had Chocolate Silk waiting for me in my mini fridge. (Have you tried it yet, my friends?)

8 comments:

Jill Johnson said...

You are too funny! I didn't know Express had maternity!!

Meili said...

They don't. I've found that the best tops are NOT maternity tops. There are tons of options out there right now because the styles are all so '80s!

Quela said...

Nice pic, ya crazy cross-eyed lady.

Sarah Garner said...

Do kiosk guys ever remind you of male dogs around a female in heat? They don't even care if you are pregnant... they'll hit on anything with boobs... or without them in my case.

Oh wait.. I married a kiosk guy. Never mind.

No wonder I'm always barefoot and pregnant.

Agent Pepper said...

Whatever. The juicy Johnson thighs are AWESOME! You just don't know how to use them to your advantage yet...you'll learn in time Meili...you will.

Liesl said...

You are funny! When I was pregnant seeing people wearing belts used to totally depress me!

DIANE said...

How can you complain about being pregnant when you look adorable?

suzanne said...

Love this... I can completely relate to your experience...except for the baby in the belly part :)

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