Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn

Willow Creek Country Club. July 2010.

We were playing with blocks. He asked me for a dance. So he hugged my shoulder while we swayed to Yesterday by the Beatles. He took a moment to lift up his head and grin at me, just to make my heart melt. Then Nat King Cole came on the scene with Nature Boy. He giggled as we continued our interpretive dance, turning slowly with the soothing sounds of Mr. Cole and quickly with the violins, which made him throw his head back to laugh. At these moments, I quickly moved in for my favorite treat: a nibble on his soft neck, his most ticklish spot.

Mr. Cole sang:
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved in return.

I was overwhelmed with happiness. The tears rolled down my cheeks (but I tried to hide them from the punk because I didn't want him to think I was sad). And the thought hit me. How am I ever going to love another one as much as I love the giggling punk in my arms?


Brit said...

You think it's absolutely impossible, before it happens, because you think you've given your whole heart to that first little baby. But the powerful thing about a second child is not that you have to share your heart with two, but that the second child doubles the size and capacity of your heart to love. Your heart grows to make room for that second baby, and the fact that she increases your capacity to love is her greatest gift to you and one of the things you love most about her.

Heather B said...

I know, right? I felt that way the whole pregnancy, worried that I didn't feel as attached to the fetus as I did to my #1 little toddler, completely sure I could not love another one the same. It's the coolest thing ever when it not only happens, but you also get to see this sibling love thing happen, and your heart swells so much that you marvel at this wonderful thing called motherly love (or fatherly love of course for the dads). But I think your friend Brit put it pretty well!

Ashes said...

You are not alone! It just happens! you love #2 as much and maybe more... in different ways. Sometimes I feel like I have pushed Lola out a bit. It makes me cry. I have to believe that Lola understands and even forgives me. I know she loves Livie with her whole heart, so I think that softens the blow a bit. And maybe i am just reading WAY too much into it. Maybe I miss my first baby (she is going to be 5 in just 7 days!). Maybe I don't feel worthy of ALL the love. Being a mom is amazing and confusing, and perfect.

Kent and Ashley said...

This is a beautiful post. I think this is one of those things in life that everyone tries to explain but you can't truly understand until it happens.

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