8/2=3

Last Saturday, I completed an 8 mile run. Today, since my man was going to be away for most of the day, I decided to cut my run in half and take the punk out in the jogging stroller (because, really, it was that or no run at all because it's Saturday and treadmills are banned on Saturdays). I shall now explain the difference between an 8 mile run and a 3 mile run. (Yes, half of 8 is 3. I majored in math; don't question me on this.) Please enjoy the accompanying photos of today's run while you read this dissertation.

8: The first mile sucks.

3: The first mile sucks.

8: The runner is very aware of the state of her bowels and the location of the nearest "facility."

3: Eh, not a big deal.

8: When the runner is halfway done, she is 4 freaking miles from home, with no car. Just running shoes and an ipod.

3: When the runner is halfway done, she should probably add another half mile on her way out so she will have completed 4 miles at the end of her run, which sounds a lot better than 3. Three is wussy. But no. Either the runner's upper body has become weaker or the punk has become heavier since our joint run last fall (perhaps it's his 10 lbs. of cold weather gear), and 3 miles will have to do.

8: At the end of the run, the runner must a) visit the facilities, b) drink 7 gallons of water to ward off the migraine demons, d) stretch well, and c) eat immediately. If she does not do all these things, she will feel like she's been hit by a truck about 60 minutes after finishing the run.

3: At the end of the run, the runner can do whatever she wants. Stretching and drinking water are recommended, but not life or death.

8: Even if the runner has completed all the necessary steps above, she will not have the energy to do much else on her Saturday, and will probably have to take an afternoon nap, and then not be able to fall asleep later that night, until she finally resigns herself to counting backwards, slowly, from 500.

3: Even if the runner didn't complete the suggested steps above, she will feel great for the rest of her Saturday because she burned some calories and released some endorphins.