Monday, November 8, 2010

Peculiarities of Pregnancy

I shall now give you a short list of the weird social peculiarities that a woman is forced to experience during pregnancy, interspersed with a series of photos of the punk. They really have nothing to do with each other, except that I was pregnant with the punk once. And this is what he looks like now, while I am pregnant with his little brother. Besides, you'd rather see photos of him than me, right? Well, that's what you're going to get because I'm better with the camera than he is so if there is any photo-taking around here, I'm the one doing the shooting.

Shall we begin?

1. Tummy touching.

When I was gestating the punk, the amount of annoyance this act created in me was surprising. I really, really hated it. Especially at work. "Hello, person from Accounting that I've never actually had a conversation with. I've never even shaken your hand, but yes! Feel free to place your hand on my protruding abdomen. That's not invasive at all! Better yet, why don't you stand behind me and we can spoon!"

This time, I'm not as annoyed. Maybe it's because I've already been through it once and I know that some people just really love touching the tummy of an expectant mother. It makes them feel close to the magic or something. Or maybe it's because I know that being annoyed isn't going to do any good because tummy-touchers will be tummy-touchers. Either way, I'd rather you didn't invade my personal space if we don't have that kind of close relationship. (If you are a friend or family member that I regularly hug, you're in the clear.) But if you insist on rubbing my belly, I will try not to karate chop your wrist.

2. Gender expectations.

When I found out that I am having a second boy, I was genuinely thrilled. I felt like I had all the fortune in the world. I have high hopes that the punk and his little brother will have a close bond. It's not that he wouldn't have a great relationship with a sister, but I get excited thinking about two little Bell boys running around together. Some other people, however, seem to have different ideas.

When a close relative found out about the second male, she smiled a sad smile and said, "I'll bet you would have liked to have a girl this time, huh?" Um... no. Not really. I found it a bit strange that having two of the same gender was a cause of grief for this person. Is it that once you have one of each, your family is complete? Will I be an incomplete mother if I never have a variety?

At another time, someone else said, "Oh, well I guess you'll definitely have to have another baby. You have to try for a girl next time, right?" Um... no. I'd be completely happy with all boys. Maybe we'll have another one, maybe not. But if we do, it won't be so we can "try for a girl." How would one go about doing that anyway?

I find it very amusing that people even have opinions about this sort of thing, and that they share these opinions with me. Which brings me to number three...

3. Unsolicited opinions.

Especially when it comes to names. We all know someone who has decided on a name for their little bundle months before the birth, but refuses to share the name with anyone. I used to think this was kind of silly, but after hearing a few stories, I have a new respect for this method. If you tell someone the name(s) you are considering for your baby, you WILL receive a positive or negative assessment, even if it's just an accidental facial expression. Usually, the general public will hold their tongue if they don't really love the name as much as you do, but occasionally, you'll find someone who just has to tell you why you can not, under any circumstances, give your child this horrible name!

I especially love the concerns regarding possible nicknames or childhood taunts. Yesterday, my friend told me that her friend was considering the name Tate for her baby boy. Then some loud-mouthed character blurted out, "Tate, Tate, masturbate!" And that was the end of that.


Julie Carlile said...

Oh that is so sad about the name Tate! I was pregnant with twins with Kambree and we named her twin Tate. That is also kambree's middle name. I love it, it means happiness and joy. Why would someone ever say something like that? Anyhow, you make me laugh with all your posts on pregnancy. :)

Mellisa's Moments..... said...

You will LOVE having two boys, you are right about feeling fortunate to have them. I love my two boys and to watch them interact is so much fun. IF you decide on having more and IF you have a girl, she will be a lot of fun too. And if you think back to bunco at your house all those months ago, my theory of having a girl has been proven correct TWICE now....just sayin' :o) You did ask how one would go about that. But even bigger than my theory, you get what you get because someone bigger than us has a master plan for our lives and the little spirits that enter them! Congrats on your boy and I LOVE reading your blog!

Heather B said...

Oh my, you are so right on with this post. I have been experiencing ALL of these things again, and it is peculiar AND annoying! I think that was part of my reason for hiding my pregnancy from as many people as possible, for as long as possible. I didn't want to have all those conversations again! Is it a boy? Do you want it to be a boy? Do you have a name picked out yet? and on and on!! I appreciate people wanting to be concerned and involved, but sometimes I also just want them to leave me alone. :)

Diana W. Windley said...

1) If I see you I reserve the right to touch your pregnant belly.

2) I got the same reactions when I told people we were expecting girl #2. And for some reason, people still tell me we should "try for a boy". Never mind we're completely content with our two girls.

3) I'll never forget when Tim asked us if we call Jenna Rose "J-Ro" for short at the Christmas party. Funny!

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